Selfishly Whole
by Okamitaretsu
Summary: "I uh... I didn't really need one, right?" The figure asked with a nervous laugh, pulling down their hood. "I mean, of course I need an invitation to enter the actual party- but uh, I didn't think I'd need one to enter your room- not that I'd ever walk into your room uninvited of course even though I... just sort of... did..." "Ruby."


The night brought forth a layer of blanketed silence as snow continued to fall gently, settling atop the still houses of Atlas. Remnant's shattered moon glowed brightly above.

A few months ago, the scenery would have seemed beautiful. Peaceful.

She tugged her hood forward to try and block some of the cold winter's air from her stinging cheeks. Even with her cloak, Atlas' wind cut through her sore body and left a chill so bone deep, she wondered if even Vacuo's burning deserts would be able to take it away.

A large mansion - _castle, really_ she thought with wry amusement- loomed before her. Even from here, the sounds of the Atlesian socialites could be easily heard as they laughed and mingled, the orchestra's rich melody failing to drown them out. Silver eyes narrowed, noticing the alert forms of the Schnee security guards placed carefully around the property. The main entrance was busy as prominent guests arrived and were escorted inside for the holiday event Jacques Schnee was hosting.

In another section of the mansion where all the windows were dark, a lone light drew her attention. A long haired shadow passed briefly.

She smiled and brought her hands to her lips, breathing a puff of warm air into them to try and defrost her frozen fingers.

Tonight, she'll allow herself to be selfish.

 _If only for tonight_ , she thought as she silently used the cover of darkness to slip through the property undetected, _I'll allow myself this_.

* * *

Weiss sighed and paced past her window for what felt like the hundredth time. She wasn't allowed to attend tonight's event after her 'shameless' -or so her father would put it- display.

Fine. She didn't even want to attend the abysmal party anyways. To try and socialize with people who could barely be bothered to know what was happening outside their own self-centered lives was... tiring, at best. At worst, she'd accidentally summon a boarbatusk.

She... was still unused to that certain development.

Thankfully, Ironwood had been there to stop it from rampaging much and gouging out the guests. Or, unfortunately, really. Depending on what mood she was currently in.

A sudden chill in the room brought her back from her musings.

Weiss turned to face her window, sure that she had closed it after the night's winter air had gotten a bit too much. A cloaked figure, suddenly appearing in her room at night with no warning should have made her feel fear, flashbacks to darker days of White Fang assassination attempts.

Should have.

"Good thing this is the right room, or else this would have been really awkward," the figure stepped forward with a grin, the window still opened behind them. "Sorry if don't have a formal invitation slip."

Weiss stood frozen, speechless.

The figure paused, stance turning unsure. "I uh... I didn't really need one, right?" The figure asked with a nervous laugh, pulling down their hood. "I mean, of course I need one to enter the actual party- but uh, I didn't think I'd need one to enter your room- not that I'd _ever_ walk into your room uninvited of course even though I... just sort of... did..."

"Ruby."

Weiss finally found her voice. To think, all of this time spent apart from her partner and the first thing she had to do was stop some typical inane rambling. Of course. Her lips quirked upward.

Ruby halted in her rambling. She noticed the other girl's smile. A warmth spread through her, taking in the sight she had taken for granted months ago.

"Weiss."

Weiss stepped forward, eyebrow arched as she gestured to the open window. They were at least five floors above ground.

"A normal person would have used the front door." She silently congratulated herself for sounding so clear. Her throat felt tight, all of a sudden. Ruby seemed blurrier, also.

"A normal person's front doors aren't as wide as a large house," Ruby grinned, moving forward to meet the older girl. She shrugged. "Plus, I'm sure your father would have had security kick me out-" She paused as delicately clad arms wrapped around her neck suddenly. Weiss' body pressed against hers desperately, a noticeable tremble in her slim form. Ruby found her arms wrapping just as tightly around Weiss' waist, trying to somehow bring her closer.

She missed this. She missed _her_ so much. All of the traveling with Jaune, Ren, and Nora - she didn't regret it. No. But when they were travelling - when those three would laugh at a joke they had shared before - before Beacon's fall, before _Pyrrha_ -

That's when it hurt the most. When she missed her team the most. When she wondered, desperately, if they would be able to all meet up again and be like they used to. It was when she would lag behind so she wouldn't have to put up a fake smile, her chest feeling as if it had been carved out by a beowolf. Ruby was sure they all carried their own fake smiles to hide the darkness that seemed to crawl behind them. It was the only way to press forward, sometimes.

"He would have," Ruby was pulled out of her thoughts by Weiss' watery sounding scoff. "Kicked you out, I mean." Ruby felt the arms wrapped around her neck tighten. "...You've gotten taller." She sounded wistful.

Ruby smiled and closed her eyes, unable to stop her hand from gently running through Weiss' hair. "I made sure to keep drinking milk." Her smile widened, pride coursing through her when she felt the body against her shake once more, this time from laughter.

"Dolt." Fondly.

"Mm." Whatever chill she had felt from tonight was completely replaced by a warm, content feeling. After so long... she finally felt full. "It's hard you know? Sometimes there aren't any inns that have it, or we have to camp out between settlements." They had been traveling through Atlas for a few weeks now after having gotten some leads on Salem. Finding out that Cinder was nowhere near the biggest fish in this pond had been... troubling. Terrifying, really.

She rested some of her weight against Weiss, eyes closing tiredly as she nuzzled her nose against a slender neck. Honestly, she was a bit surprised by Weiss' willing clinginess, knowing how much the older girl liked her space. Still, Ruby definitely wouldn't pass up her chance with a cuddlier Weiss. She wondered briefly if could take a short nap like this, with the warm feeling in her chest and arms full of Weiss. Maybe she wouldn't have those nightmares. If only for one night.

"...Settlements?" Weiss stiffened under her arms. After what felt like a lifetime, Weiss pulled away enough to get a good look at Ruby. Without the original shock of suddenly seeing her partner, Weiss was able to take in the frayed cloak, the tattered edges and stains to her clothes. From behind Ruby's back, she caught a glimpse of Crescent Rose. Her hands clenched fistfuls of Ruby's cloak, the treasured weapon's sorry state full of dents and scratches being an obvious sign to what Ruby's whereabouts had been recently. Ruby would never let Crescent Rose reach that sorry state if she could help it.

"...Is Yang with you? Blake?" Because there was no way this _idiot_ could be traveling through the kingdoms alone. Even with their teammates, Remnant was a dangerous place with Grimm of unknown strengths wandering about. And not just grimm, but the White Fang was also a cause for concern. And of course Vale didn't have any form of ships that were actively transporting people between the kingdoms, or she would have found out through her father. She tried to quell her rising panic.

Ruby lowered her head, smile dim. "No... Yang is back at home with dad. She... couldn't come." Her arm, Weiss realized with a sharp pang in her heart. "And Blake... she uh... she left. After the ships dropped Yang and the rest from Beacon she. She left." Ruby's smile, if you could still call it that, dimmed further.

She should have stayed. She should have said no to her father's demand and _stayed_ with them. It had been months since she had last seen Ruby and her teammates - how long had the younger girl been traveling alone, without her team by her? How was Yang coping? Where was Blake?

It was too much, suddenly. She had been sure the three had been together at least. That she was the only one feeling this separation. She was a fool.

Weiss brought a hand to her mouth, feeling nauseous.

Ruby's smile finally dropped, concern easily found within warm, silver eyes. "Weiss? Are you okay? I'm sure Yang's fine, she's stronger than this. And Blake's strong too, and smart. She's definitely alright." Silver eyes that had a slightly darker look. Silver eyes that seemed a bit... emptier. Idiot. What an utter _idiot_.

Weiss moved silently, her forehead resting against Ruby's shoulder. Her beloved red cloak, the edges so utterly torn. From battle, obviously. How many? How long had the girl been traveling?

"Ruby," She breathed in deeply to try and calm the sick feeling in her stomach, her tone reminiscent of a time when she would use it to start her lectures on her leader for not doing her assignments properly. The younger girl tensed underneath her. This, too, was common. Although they didn't share this... much intimacy before. Weiss felt wry amusement. Definitely something to think about and introspect about later. Although she already had an idea as to what she was feeling. Later. For now, she had to know what her idiot of a leader was doing.

"Are you traveling alone?" The way she worded it may have sounded a bit like a threat. Maybe. Surely, her idiot couldn't be _that_ much of an idiot as to travel alone.

"N-No. I'm with Jaune, Ren, and Nora."

Good. Two out of the three party members were competent.

Next, then.

"Why?"

"...To find leads on Cinder. And… something bigger than her. There's... a lot of stuff going on in the dark, Weiss. A lot of stuff we don't know that's bigger than Roman, Cinder, even the White Fang. It's-" Weiss closed her eyes when she heard the undercurrent of fear in Ruby's voice. "It's bigger than all of us."

She didn't think she could stand more than one final question.

"For how long?"

"A few weeks after Beacon fell. We've...been searching for leads ever since." Just as she feared, then. All of this time spent in Schnee manor. Wasted. Wasted while she could have been doing _something._

"Right then," Weiss pulled back from Ruby and turned around to walk to her closet, digging through useless hanging piles of formal dresses and gowns.

Ruby blinked.

"Weiss?"

"Don't think I didn't notice your sorry frozen state when you entered my room, Ruby. Atlas' winter for someone who isn't used to them can be deadly." She pulled out a durable looking sweater. White, of course. As if her father would ever bother letting her get anything outside of blue or white. She scoffed. Ridiculous.

"Oh."

"I know I have something those three could also use," She murmured under breath as she looked for the worn but comfortable cloaks she'd wear when traveling outside with Winter. They might be a bit small for Jaune and Ren, but something was better than nothing. Nora could probably use her clothing, seeing as how the hammer wielding berserker was slighter than ever her. Somehow.

"I won't be staying in Atlas for long, Weiss." Ruby rubbed the back of her head, guilt eating away at her. "Actually, I wasn't even supposed to show up here tonight since we'll be leaving really soon. They don't know I'm here." Although, honestly... she was sure they had caught on. Ren, at the least.

"Just let me get a bag and pack a few things, and then we can leave."

"Alright, I'm just making sure cause it's already getting pretty late and if we want to make it back on time without them noticing then-" Ruby froze. "Wait, we?"

"Yes, we. Now make yourself useful if you want to move this along at a faster rate. There's a travel bag near my dresser. It's got dust inside, but I trust that you won't cause a repeat of our first meeting inside my room this time around?"

"I know how to handle dust now, Weiss!" Ruby replied, indignant. "And it was by accident how many times do I have to tell you- no wait. That isn't the issue here," she said as she bent down to carefully pick up the bag, confused, worried, and all sorts of elated. "It's dangerous out there, Weiss. Really, _really_ dangerous. Not only are there crazy grimm we hadn't even studied before that can possess huge rocks and burning trees -they would have been normal trees but I sort... of maybe messed up- but also weirdos with scorpion tails that can move as fast as me - probably faster - and... and they have it out for me? For some reason? And if it hadn't been for Uncle Qrow-"

"Your ramblings aren't helping you, Ruby Rose." If Ruby thought Weiss would let her out of her sight now that she'd gotten a... broader picture of what her partner was facing, then Ruby clearly didn't know Weiss.

Ruby, realizing her mistake, felt her shoulders slump. Worry still ate away at her, knowing the dangers they would surely have to face. Tyrion got away after his fight with Uncle Qrow and was surely still after her. They didn't' know much about Cinder, let alone Salem. They had picked up troubling whispers of White Fang activity. It wouldn't be easy. Nothing had changed since earlier this morning, when the weight had felt like it could drown her.

But then... why did she suddenly feel so much lighter? As if whatever lay ahead, she could face it.

She caught Weiss' movements, watching the older girl's slim back as she moved to gather more clothes for the trip, smug in her obvious victory over their argument. If you could even call it that.

Ruby ducked her head to hide a wide grin.

Her team wasn't complete. She still didn't know how Yang was doing after all this time. Had no idea where Blake was, or even where to begin searching for her. But as she gazed at Weiss, at that delicate yet reassuring form, dressed in a dress that was easily worth double whatever provisions and items team RNJR (which sounded _way_ cooler than JNRR) were carrying...

She doesn't think she'd ever felt this whole before.

* * *

An accidental slip, a loss of balance, and a strangled yelp had them falling gracelessly down the windowsill and plummeting five stories below into a soft pile of snow.

Ruby groaned underneath Weiss, back smarting painfully. She couldn't remember the last time she had rested enough to have a full amount of aura. Tyrion's beating and breaking of her aura certainly didn't help.

Still, she couldn't help but tease.

"I don't wanna sound rude or anything... but have you gotten hea-"

"Don't finish that sentence if you value your life." Weiss scowled down at her. Slender fingertips slipped carefully underneath Ruby's head, searching for any bumps or injuries. Blue eyes stared down at her with concern. "Are you alright? You wouldn't normally feel much from a fall this small."

Ruby couldn't help the joyful laugh that bubbled from deep within, somewhere warm and light and _breathtaking_.

"I feel great, Weiss."

Weiss raised an eyebrow, smiling despite herself at the younger girl's wide grin. "If you're sure," she drawled, fingertips still searching. It really was worrying. She'd have to keep a closer eye on her partner to make sure she was getting proper rest.

"Hey Weiss?"

"Mm?" It seemed Ruby was content enough with Weiss straddling her. And it seemed she was content with it as well. Again, something to look into later when the idiot underneath her stopped grinning up at her so earnestly, as if she put the sun up herself.

"I know it's been a while since Beacon, but you could really use some work on your landing strategy. I don't think using your partner as a landing pad counts-"

Weiss dumped a fistful of snow on Ruby's face, a nonplussed look on her face.

"I'm sure Ozpin would consider giving it a passing grade." She groused.

Ruby snickered. Silver eyes gazed up warmly at her with so much fondness. Weiss feared she'd melt the snow around them.

"Hey Weiss?"

"...Yes, Ruby?"

She hoped this blush would lessen soon. At least she could blame it on the cold air nipping at them.

"Your security sucks."

"...They really do."


End file.
